My running rules.

The title of this post can be confusing. Let me clarify. I do not rule in running. I despise sprinting unless there is a person chasing me…but even then, I often just curl up in a ball.

I typically run 12 minute miles, so I am slow. I think, anyway, that I am slow…I don’t know for sure because I have a rule not to time my miles. Yes, those types of rules. I try to keep these rules in mind, but sometimes I fail:

Running Rules:

1) Do not time your miles. I do, however, jog either by distance or time I have. If I have a half hour to run, I turn around at fifteen minutes.

2) Run before every single shower. Let’s just say you probably don’t want to take me in public on Sundays. It keeps me motivated and focused on what’s important.

3) Pray every time I hear a siren. Heck, that goes for drives, too.

4) If I jog more than an hour, I begin to eat a fruit snack every three blocks, or take one gummy vitamin.

5) Wear good shoes with socks. Shorts and a T-shirt are good, too. Duh. I shouldn’t even have to type this. But I am that sort of methodical person.

6) Don’t walk. If I walk, I add distance to my run.

7) When greeting other runners before 7am, whisper or just smile and nod. It’s like an unspoken rule…or like a library before 7am outside.

8) Don’t skip on my Ipod more than twice in a playlist.

9) Don’t step on toads.

10) When breathing in bugs, don’t puke them out. Swallow. But I hate puking in general. And don’t go crazy on this. I don’t want to see anyone mimicking Yoshi eating insects while they’re running. Then I really will vomit.

Sooo also, to spice this post up. You may want to know the weirdest thing that has happened to me on a run. Oh, wait…it was on roller blades. I’ll have to save it for another post. 😉


About Faye

I blog for 5 sites.
This entry was posted in I write to praise ♥, I write to provoke ♥ and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to My running rules.

  1. Pingback: Why I run in 90°+, humid heat. « I Write to Think

  2. Jason says:

    Haha. Being quiet while running before 7AM made me laugh. Not so much anymore, but we used to be very noisy very early while running.

  3. megziepoo says:

    love this. I wrote about “how to be a runner” for one of our writing classes… satirical, you know.
    But I must disagree a bit. I refuse to swallow on #10. I’m all about the spitting. But, I must say, spit at your own risk– often times spit gets rather… sticky… and will sometimes lash back and land on your ankle or worse.

  4. Jon says:

    Dang you seem like a pro. I am such an amateur when it comes to running..I’m really trying to improve.

    Your rules are awesome/hilarious!

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